You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter - correct the information in the article - explain whey it is important for the magazine to give correct information - suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

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letter regarding an article which is about the history and traditions of Iran that was published on 17 October 2023 in Hamshahri magazine ,

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wrong data about my city that called Shiraz,which was located in the south of Iran.

Firstly

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,I have seen you mentioned incorrect information about the Tomb of Cyrus you said located in Ahwaz

therefore

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, it is wrong and you should correct as in Shiraz,

additionally

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,it is important for the tourism industry that transmission data to tourists and native people before they coming and visit closely.

Moreover

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,I recommend you set up a professional team to recheck the essays before they are published in newspapers and websites.

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besides

Capitalize word

Besides

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on the other hand

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, I believe the magazine should republish the article with the correct location of the history. It would greatly benefit new tourists. Hopefully, I will receive positive feedback in the next newspaper. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Pardis Ghobadi

pardisghobadiWed Oct 02 2024

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task achievement

Your letter contains all the necessary points, but it could benefit from further details and clearer separation of ideas in different paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Reviewing and refining sentence structure would help improve logical flow. Clarification in referring to specific details of the article enhances coherence and cohesion.

greeting closing

You have properly addressed the editor and included a respectful closing.

complete response

You clearly corrected the information and recommended actionable steps for the magazine to take.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

160 words

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