IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

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In the thriving economic democracy, there is a race between advertising agencies in producing commercials leading to a rising amount of content shown in multimedia.
Although
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 the decisions of purchasers are mostly based on their will, I fairly assert that advertisement passively
affect
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affects
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 their intentions to a certain extent.
Therefore
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, the government should limit
this
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 development
according to
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 the negative impacts it delivers. On the one hand, advertisements gradually insert their own ideology
to
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into
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 consumers which sometimes is not appropriate for them.
Firstly
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, producers broadcast their promotions frequently, forcing watchers to remember their stories without awareness.
Moreover
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, producers always insert irrelevant positive feelings
such
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 as happiness or luxury when using their products to encourage users.
Consequently
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, buyers may involve unnecessary desires corresponding to those strategies.
For instance
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, there is always a multitude of people queuing to obtain new iPhone models each year to become satisfied when owning the latest devices, which always be promised in Apple’s ads,
instead
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 of the upgrades they actually entail.
On the other hand
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, to prevent the aforementioned misunderstands, ad scenarios should be carefully reviewed. These activities will authorize which impressions are accurate when promoting, minimizing the flowery influences.
Besides
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, broadcasters should diminish the frequency of ads to lessen their manipulating effect which may navigate the client's choices far from their demand.
Furthermore
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, with the drop in promotions, more spaces are available for valuable shows for end-users, especially children and youngsters who prefer knowledge to adult products. In conclusion,despite the fact that the ever-increasing plethora of advertisements has adversely impacted people, several competing offices are still keeping their own approach.
Hence
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, I strongly recommend politicians and creators to precise advertisement scripts
along with
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 the restriction on the duration of propaganda.

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task response
Ensure that all main points are directly relevant to the question and support the writer's position. Include a clear counterargument if relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the logical progression of ideas and ensure that each paragraph is linked cohesively to the next. Use transition words to connect ideas and guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
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