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Band 3

It is more effective if doctors do rounds (see patients in the hospital) in pairs, not individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #rounds #patients #pairs
Some people consider that it will be better if
doctors
 take care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
patients
 in pairs, not only one. In my opinion, I don'
t
 completely agree with that idea.
First
 of all, the Vietnamese
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 requires that there are two healthcare workers at least when they look after the ill person.
May be
Correct your spelling
Maybe
show examples
 some
patients
 will feel trouble with these rules but it
make
Change the verb form
makes
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safe
Correct pronoun usage
it safe
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 for you and your
patients
. The
patients
 don'
t
 have to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
 about the
doctors
Change to a genitive case
doctor's
doctors'
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 sexual harassment as well as the
doctors
also
 don'
t
 have to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
patients
Change noun form
patient's
patients'
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 blame
about
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for
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 sexual harassment because the remaining medical staff will protect
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
In addition
, if you are a men doctor the women patient will be shy when they have to talk face to face with only you and they don'
t
 talk full their
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 you. They will feel more confident if there is another
Add a hyphen
same-sex
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same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 medical staff who
join
Correct subject-verb agreement
joins
show examples
 with you and they feel more comfortable to talk your
secrete
Correct your spelling
secret
show examples
 problem.
Although
, I am total agree with
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 opinion but it only
apply
Change the verb form
applies
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 regular
Correct your spelling
situations
sistuations
Correct your spelling
situations
. If you meet
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 emergency case, if only
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 face
to
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apply
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
situation
sistuation
Correct your spelling
situation
, you can not wait
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 people to
start
Add the particle
tostart
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save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 the patient. The patient will be died because of your
slowly
Change the adverb
slow
show examples
 response.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
: I completely agree with
idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
show examples
 it is more effective if
doctors
 do
arounds
Correct your spelling
around
rounds
 in pairs with routine
sistuations
Correct your spelling
situations
 but disagree with emergency
sistuations
Correct your spelling
situations
.
Submitted by Andy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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