Even if doctors suggest olders to do physical exercises Only if you done then require it what are the possible reasons and give your solutions

Health

plays the most crucial role in our life, especially nowadays, as the life expectancy of human beings is getting shorter compared to our ancestors. Elderly

people

are advised to do physical exercises regularly to keep fit. I believe

this

is because

people

get sick easily and their immune system is low,

however

, it can be tackled by awareness of individuals and governments. To commence with the

first

cause that makes old-age

people

get sick easily is that they do not have enough nutritious

food

and get their medical checks regularly.

This

is because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

some families, their family members are so busy with their work that they cannot spare more time on cooking clean and fresh meals and end up buying junk

food

In other words

, eating fast

food

can cause obesity and hypertension

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

in older, as they do not work out.

Moreover

, without keeping fit can affect the immunization of a person and

this

makes them

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

hospitalized. To exemplify, an individual can often be tired even with a small walk or just a short walk at the supermarket.

On the contrary

, one of the major solutions to

this

consequence is that it is vital that everyone cares and reminds each other on how to stay healthy by eating organic

food

and keep workout or doing yoga as a daily routine even thrice a week.

This

can be done as a family activity and it can not only make us healthy physically but

also

mentally.

Furthermore

, the ministry of

health

should introduce a free medical

check-up

Fix the agreement mistake

check-ups

show examples

for older

people

,especially in rural areas once a year, so that they are aware of their

health

and they can take prevention on diseases they may face in the future.

This

can

also

mitigate the risk of

people

ending up at hospitals. In conclusion, I believe physical exertion is a simple routine that suits everyone.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

related bodies need to encourage and motivate elderly

people

to take care of their

health

by doing physical exercise.

Submitted by nannphongnoan on Sun Aug 14 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Even if doctors suggest olders to do physical exercises Only if you done then require it what are the possible reasons and give your solutions

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalised and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?