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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the development of technology has a negative impact on education. Others argue that technology has greatly enhanced the learning experience. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The pervasive influence of technological advancements on the realm of education is undeniable.
While
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 some argue that these developments have detrimental effects, others believe they significantly enhance the learning process.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives and present my own opinion. On the one hand, one of the most significant drawbacks of
technology
Use synonyms
 in education is the increased dependence of students on gadgets and laptops.
This
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 dependence not only distracts them from their studies but
also
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 fosters a reliance on
technology
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 for answers, hindering the development of critical thinking.
As a result
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, these factors can negatively affect their independent decision-making abilities.
For example
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, the increasing prevalence of artificial intelligence may result in young people struggling to think autonomously, as they become accustomed to relying on AI for problem-solving.
Moreover
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,
this
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 could have a detrimental impact on their future employment prospects and
overall
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 well-being, as employers increasingly value independent and critical thinking skills.
Conversely
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, the advancement of
technology
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 leads to the inclusion of diverse interactive methods within the educational process. Digital tools
such
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 as interactive simulations, online courses, and educational apps can make learning more engaging and accessible to students.
Consequently
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, these methods enhance the comprehension of information and facilitate the resolution of complex issues across various scientific disciplines.
For instance
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, following the technological revolution, significant discoveries in engineering,
such
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 as the design of microchips, have enabled the rapid solution of intricate problems, demonstrating the power of
technology
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 to drive innovation. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals argue that technological progress has had a detrimental impact on the development of independent thought, others maintain that it offers substantial advantages in fostering interactive learning. In my opinion, the positive aspects of technological integration into education significantly outweigh the negative ones. The key lies in implementing
technology
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 in a balanced way, ensuring that it enhances rather than replaces traditional educational methods

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully developed with thorough explanations and examples. This can enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider linking the ideas in your paragraphs more fluidly to improve the flow of thought and coherence.
structure
The introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed, which sets a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, particularly regarding technology in education, adds depth to your arguments and illustrates your points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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