IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Today more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

#people #case #traveller
The majority of
people
 decided to travel in many eras. They believed that travelling is the way for
ranout
Correct your spelling
ran out
 of their problems. So, there are many advantages and
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 between travelling in the past and now. For stater,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many decades ago,
people
 travelled by some animals like horses, and camels. So, the trips usually needed more time, they might be long several days for
trip
Add an article
the trip
show examples
.
Also
,
people
Correct your spelling
transferred
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 goods to
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 other
dominstrations
Correct your spelling
demonstrations
.
On the other hand
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, travelling is for fun and relaxation.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, many employees worked hard all the days of
week
Add an article
the week
show examples
 and needed some time to refresh their brain and got
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
 to continue their
occuption
Correct your spelling
occupation
.
Secondly
, some generations transfer more information about their trip to the children. They travelled to other countries or cities to
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 various cultures, traditional
bazzars
Correct your spelling
bazaars
 ,and historical buildings.
Besides
, They have tried to
commomuration
Correct your spelling
commemoration
 identify of countries. So, much more
people
 would like to journey at the weekend. On the other way, travelling
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more benefits for
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and local
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. Travellers purchased some gifts to show the culture of
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 place where they travelled.
In addition
, buying something causes
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of countries by transfer of money.
For example
, a foreign person bought
carpet
Correct article usage
a carpet
show examples
 which was the symbolic of art and handicrafts of Iran. He paid money to show the skills and talents of Iranian
people
 in the art to other places.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
people
 gave more information when they visited other places. They enjoy the period
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trip
Add an article
the trip
a trip
show examples
 by sightseeing
amazing
Change preposition
with amazing
show examples
 nature and breathing fresh air.
Also
, They have helped out the
growthing
Correct your spelling
growing
growth
 of
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Submitted by behzad.tahmouresi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: