Some experts suggest that an additional increase in economic wealth do not make the citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#experts #wealth #citizens

A section of researchers is of the opinion that adding finance to the economy makes the inhabitants unhappy.I totally agree because it brings restrictions and interest.

This

essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance as well as examples in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with,the primary reason additional finance will make the inhabitants unhappy is restraint.When a nation goes for a loan from International Monetary Fund to boost the economy. They give them restrictions on the number of

people

employed in each sector and

this

brings about unemployment for most

citizens

For example

,when ghana went to HIPC in 2000,the majority of the population was unemployed because of the quota they were given to

employing

Wrong verb form

employ

show examples

.A lot of graduates were in the house with better qualifications because of the loan their nation went for.

Although

the country will benefit, the

people

will suffer.

Therefore

Change the article

show examples

rise in additional

wealth

brings about unemployment which makes the

citizens

not satisfied.

Secondly

, another reason increasing the

wealth

of a country makes the

people

unsatisfied

is interest

Change the verb form

is interested

is interesting

show examples

.The money that will be given will not be the same to pay back.The country has to pay back with interest which makes the prices of commodities increase. The increase in the price of commodities brings hardships to the

citizens

because their salaries will not be enough for them.Meanwhile ,

this

leads to deviant behaviour because they need money to improve their living condition.

Hence

,additional

wealth

brings hardship to the

citizens

. In conclusion,

this

essay argued that an increase in the finance of an economy makes

people

unsatisfied. Restrictions and commissions are the two reasons I totally opine that additional

wealth

will make the inhabitants unhappy.

Submitted by yahayasonde2 on Mon Aug 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some experts suggest that an additional increase in economic wealth do not make the citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.