Some experts suggest that an additional increase in economic wealth do not make the citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#experts #wealth #citizens

A section of researchers is of the opinion that adding finance to the economy makes the inhabitants unhappy.I totally agree because it brings restrictions and interest.

This

essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance as well as examples in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with,the primary reason additional finance will make the inhabitants unhappy is restraint.When a nation goes for a loan from International Monetary Fund to boost the economy. They give them restrictions on the number of

people

employed in each sector and

this

brings about unemployment for most

citizens

For example

,when ghana went to HIPC in 2000,the majority of the population was unemployed because of the quota they were given to

employing

Wrong verb form

employ

show examples

.A lot of graduates were in the house with better qualifications because of the loan their nation went for.

Although

the country will benefit, the

people

will suffer.

Therefore

Change the article

show examples

rise in additional

wealth

brings about unemployment which makes the

citizens

not satisfied.

Secondly

, another reason increasing the

wealth

of a country makes the

people

unsatisfied

is interest

Change the verb form

is interested

is interesting

show examples

.The money that will be given will not be the same to pay back.The country has to pay back with interest which makes the prices of commodities increase. The increase in the price of commodities brings hardships to the

citizens

because their salaries will not be enough for them.Meanwhile ,

this

leads to deviant behaviour because they need money to improve their living condition.

Hence

,additional

wealth

brings hardship to the

citizens

. In conclusion,

this

essay argued that an increase in the finance of an economy makes

people

unsatisfied. Restrictions and commissions are the two reasons I totally opine that additional

wealth

will make the inhabitants unhappy.

Submitted by yahayasonde2 on Mon Aug 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some experts suggest that an additional increase in economic wealth do not make the citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is an individual responsibilty to take care of an environment but others think it is government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter -Explain your situation -Describe your problems -Tell him when you think you can move in.