Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

In the world today, two categories of people exist: the carefree and the careful.

This

essay will discuss both categories and explain why being carefree is more advantageous. On one side, openness to explore the world facilitates a balanced lifestyle.

Moreover

, exploring different cities as a tourist while trying out diverse continental dishes is a necessity for all.

Although

, robust finance is required to be a tourist.

For instance

, a record reveals that travellers spend 95% of their savings in a year on a couple of trips.

However

, going broke is not a concern for these adventurers as they are keen on living the best of their lives.

On the other hand

, careful individuals stay in their shells because of the fear of the unknown. They remain in their comfort zones as lesser risks are involved,

such

as food poisoning, extreme weather conditions, dangers and racism.

Although

, I think life is boring and uncolourful in

this

cycle. There is nothing to look forward to ,

hence

, no excitement in view.

This

set of individuals is biased and microscopic as they can neither think outside the box nor broaden their imagination.

Moreover

, it is popularly said that a merry heart does well to the body.

For instance

, a survey carried out in Nigeria revealed that 98% of individuals who have never travelled out of their city of residence fall ill at least once every month. So, I am of the opinion that being a lover of adventure is much more beneficial as it gives a wider view of the globe, creates avenues for great friendships and leads to good health. In conclusion, in the globe today, some people are explorers while others remain in their comfort zones,

however

although

, being a careful person excludes one from danger and unforeseen circumstances, being carefree

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while touring the world is of greater

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

as it creates an avenue to meet new people, gives a balanced view of life and has a positive impact on the health.

Submitted by adedolapooye on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Novelty
Routine
Comfort zone
Risk-taker
Risk-averse
Enrichment
Personal growth
Innovation
Creativity
Stability
Tradition
Habit
Familiarity
Personal enrichment
Life stages
Fulfilling

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