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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

#people #purpose #museums #museum #disuss
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These days we can see a decrease in the number of museum visitors. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue, that it is better to encourage humans to go to the cinema with all kind of entertainment shows, whereas other claims that the
first
Linking Words
 goal needs to be the conveying of knowledge. I will explore the pros and cons of attractions in
museums
Use synonyms
. Let us discuss. On the one hand all kind of art facilities, like galleries or art exhibitions, has issues with attendance. In modern ,society it is more comfortable to visit online a gallery than in reality. But, ,,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 we really need to find new approaches to
this
Linking Words
 problem and find different incentives as well
such
Linking Words
 as video documentation or visible touch screens. It could be very exciting for children to see different pictures on a screen and decide to push them on an invisible touch screen and as a ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
result they play a voice. When I remember
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my childhood it was all time very boring to go to
museums
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 it was often more appealing to me to go to the
next
Linking Words
 cinema.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main reason for visiting a museum is the learning of knowledge without media effects. Usually, you can better be learning in silent surrounding areas and no noisy sounds can interrupt your concentration and mind. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
, almost elderly
people
Use synonyms
 like to visit
museums
Use synonyms
 for other motivations. In our time of big ,acceleration it is sometimes useful that we calm ourselves by watching artefacts or sculptures in an art exhibition and let our minds flow,
for example
Linking Words
. In conclusion, on one hand , a museum with different kinds of attractions and entertainment can facilitate younger visitors, whereas older
people
Use synonyms
 like to be more in silent surroundings for relaxation. In my opinion, it must be given to
museums
Use synonyms
 for both kinds of groups.
Submitted by Diederich.1974 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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