IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #protection #waste #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For the
last
decade's
Change noun form
decade
show examples
 globalization and production developments have badly affected the habitats of wild
animals
, and now coming to the 21st century they have no area to live. Some people think that money spent on the protection of wild
animals
 is just a waste. I strongly believe that taking care of wildlife is the responsibility of humanity. Deforestation is known to be one of the main causes for
animals
 in forests to lose their homes.
In other words
, countries frequently cut trees down to enlarge new areas for construction, as a variety of birds, as well as squirrels, build their homes on the trees, now they have no place to stay. So each individual has to respect and give the alternative way of living for the wild
animals
, to maintain their existence. Special lands for looking after species may take a vast amount of money,
however
, humanity is closely connected with wildlife so expenditures for protecting them should not bother of any kind.
Additionally
, wildlife is one part of the life chain and some types of
animals
 are crucial for scientific research in
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fields.
Thus
, protecting them at any cost may be more beneficial since one animal may help to save hundreds of people. As an example, scientists from Oxford University managed to find the similarities in chimpanzees' brains with humans, and for the
last
 two ,years they have been exploring possible ways to cure brain cancer. To conclude, due to the given explanations I believe that it is necessary to shelter wild
animals
 since they are a part of life and may be valuable for scientific purposes.
Submitted by abdulbosit1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: