IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people see animals as tools to be used by humans to better their lives. They believe animals should help feed us and keep us healthy by being subjects to experiments that will lead to new medications and medical processes. Others believe that animals should have the same rights to a good life as humans. Discuss both views and state your own.

It's been argued that animals should have the same rights as humans do
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think it will be better to use them as a subject for medical tests
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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,
as a result
Linking Words
, will keep the population wealthier. In my point of view, wild creatures are very useful for human life and
all
Correct determiner usage
the
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 world's future because ,without experiments on fauna, human beings won't have
therapy
Correct article usage
the therapy
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 results
as
Change preposition
apply
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we have at
this
Linking Words
 moment.
In other words
Linking Words
, society made huge progress
as a result
Linking Words
 of experiments on species
,
Punctuation problem
;
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consequently
Linking Words
, we can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
better progress with these kinds of testing.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays we have a large amount of medication that
saved
Wrong verb form
saves
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 somebody's life
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
besides
Rephrase
however
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, scientists
still didn't
Verb problem
have not yet
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produce
Wrong verb form
produced
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medication for cancer.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be much harder to create it without
testings
Use the right word
testing
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 on animals.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are a lot of beasts dying respectively
to
Change preposition
due to
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 scientists' investigation. Species should be equal to human beings since we
all are
Correct word order
are all
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 living on the same planet. In
different
Correct word choice
other
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 words, we all have the same options
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it's not fair for animals that society has an opportunity to control wild creatures.
For example
Linking Words
,
hence
Linking Words
 medical development, there is an extinction of some types of fauna,
therefore
Linking Words
, it affects all flora and other aspects of natural life. In my opinion, it is cruel to lead nature to that point
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the crowd should control their actions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are advantages and disadvantages in both points of view
,
Punctuation problem
;
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nevertheless
Linking Words
, experiments on species can lead humans to enormous progress,
thus
Linking Words
, we all should deal with the drawbacks.

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task
State your own view clearly in the intro and keep it in every paragraph.
grammar
Break long sentences into short, clear lines.
content
Give one or two real examples to back your claim.
coherence
Use simple link words to move from idea to idea.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar; fix word use.
content
The essay shows a plan to discuss both sides and to give a view.
structure
There are some good link words and a clear structure.
structure
Conclusion is present.
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