Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some claiming that authority has to focus more financially on medical care and education rather than spending money on the construction
theatres
Change preposition
of theatres
show examples
and
sports
stadiums. In my opinion, though medicine and education are vital spheres to pay attention
,
Change preposition
to, sports
show examples
sports
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
and theatres
also
play a crucial role in entertainment.
To begin
with, having no place for arranging theatre plays or sporting events may create a bunch of difficulties for authorities like overcrowded areas and traffic jams. It is because, the world would be a boring place to live if there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
no entertainment, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from the past humanity used to attend these activities.
Thus
, allocating some funds for up-to-date constructions will keep the balance of enjoyment
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
respect
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
citizens’ preferations.
In addition
, there are many celebrities in the music and film industries being idols for the young generation, so some kids may become the next superstars and support their government has to have special buildings where the plays can be performed.
Nevertheless
, there is no doubt that schooling is important to develop children’s future life and career.
However
, additional activities
such
as
sports
are equally beneficial to emerge their hidden talent which could definitely provide peers with great opportunities.
Thus
, the law should spend money on building up good infrastructure with all basic facilities.
Moreover
, sport helps to maintain a healthy lifestyle, as an example of
this
, a recent survey led by
Japan
Correct article usage
the Japan
show examples
Health Department observed the performance of students in a particular school in Japan, and they concluded that those who gave equal time to
sports
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
fitter and mentally strong.
To sum up
, for the reasons given above I believe that arts and
sports
have the same importance as medicine and education,
thus
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
should be spent on both ranges respectively.
Submitted by abdulbosit1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the given topic and provides an outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to create logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: