IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people regard that we ought to spend money and time protecting wild animals.Others argue that it is better only to spend it on human populations.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #time #animals #populations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a dispute that some
people
Use synonyms
 claim spending money and time on the preservation of wild
animals
Use synonyms
,while others suggest we had better expend it on humans.In fact,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 side with those who are of spending money on human populations.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the importance of
monetary
Add an article
a monetary
the monetary
show examples
 approach to the conservation of animal species which can manifest itself in the prevention of global warming and environmental calamities should be acknowledged.A case in point is the decline of global temperature in the living areas of
animals
Use synonyms
 despite destroying natural areas.As well as preserving
animals
Use synonyms
,we will be showing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great protection to the natural environment which can profoundly influence
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole creatures.Another factor at work seems to be related to ecosystems.In fact,ecosystems involve
animals
Use synonyms
hence
Linking Words
 aiding to maintain balance in nature with a fewer
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
 for humans.It can be seen in
a particular predators
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular predators
a particular predator
show examples
 eating locusts reducing their number.Without predators fighting against locusts would be hard to control which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
devastating
Wrong verb form
devastate
show examples
 large farmland areas.Enormous destruction of crops will be accounted for starvation and staggering food costs when
animals
Use synonyms
 are off attention.
However
Linking Words
,there is a strong case to be made that
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
Linking Words
 of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 population around the whole world
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 suffering from starvation which
motives
Replace the word
motivates
show examples
 fostering an affordable amount of money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them in times of need.We need to take care of our kind creating the best life opportunities as
animals
Use synonyms
 can not ever try to save humans.In fact,
people
Use synonyms
 living in underdeveloping countries can not afford to conserve
animals
Use synonyms
.By switching
people
Use synonyms
 out of poverty,
then
Linking Words
 we might pay
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
focus on preserving animal species. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
although
athough
Correct your spelling
though
animals
Use synonyms
 are considered
playing
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
 a critical role in the balance of nature,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am still convinced
people
Use synonyms
 should rank
first
Linking Words
 giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
monetary support to rescue them from poverty.They have
also
Linking Words
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 of possessing a better livelihood which could make their life easier.
Submitted by asalmustafoeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: