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Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Not all
conditions
 are always pleasant in life
such
 as an unfavourable job or insufficient funds, and the best way to deal with terrible things is merely to acknowledge them.
However
, some feel that a bitter condition is a turning point to expand possibilities and rise again for better outcomes. In
this
 essay, I will explain
further
 from both points of view and provide my opinion in the upcoming paragraph. On one hand, accepting is a better solution when a bad condition happens. Many individuals prefer
this
 solution to keep their mental health stable. Actually, it is tough to admit terrible things in every single life, merely
people
 with the biggest sincerity can adopt it. Scientists have proved that more than half of society visits psychologists because of stress over unfortunate
conditions
.
Moreover
, some
people
 who prefer to accept bad situations merely believe that it is not a god’s way for them.
As a result
, they easily continue their life with other paths.
However
, there are some
people
 who prefer to battle with bad
conditions
 to achieve better results. They assume that bad
conditions
 are new challenges, and prove that in every condition
people
 can survive.
This
 notion makes them more successful because they walk on many possibilities.
For instance
, Thomas Alfa Edison has experienced a hundred experiments with only one result.
Nevertheless
, his hard work greatly impacted his lifespan, and his name was always known as the safeguard for a more convenient lifestyle.
Besides
, trying to improve some
conditions
 gives us a strong mindset and less influence on others’ opinions.
Submitted by helainhye2 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. In the essay, while you discuss both views, the conclusion where you are to give your own opinion is missing. Ensure to clearly articulate your stance on the issue at the end of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear, logical progression of ideas. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs with distinct points, and end with a conclusion summarizing the main ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource & Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Implement a variety of complex sentence structures and demonstrate lexical resource by using a wide range of vocabulary. Take care to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and to minimize errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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