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Band 7

It is important to give children the chance to act independently and make their own decisions from an act independently and make early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea ?

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Allowing
children
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 to act independently and make their own
decisions
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 from an early age plays a crucial role in their personal and intellectual development.
While
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 some believe that young
children
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 lack the maturity to make responsible choices, I strongly support the idea that fostering independence helps them acquire essential life skills and grow into confident, self-sufficient individuals. When
children
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 learn to make
decisions
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 early, they become more adaptable to challenges and better prepared for future responsibilities. One major benefit of encouraging independence is that it enhances
children
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’s problem-solving abilities. When given the chance to make
decisions
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, they learn how to analyze situations, consider possible consequences, and take responsibility for their actions.
For instance
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, allowing
a child
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children
show examples
 to manage their own schedule or choose their extracurricular activities helps them develop time management, self-discipline, and decision-making skills, which are essential in adulthood.
Furthermore
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, independent
children
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 tend to be more creative and resilient when facing difficulties.
Additionally
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, making independent choices from an early age boosts a child’s self-confidence and sense of responsibility. When
children
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 feel trusted to make their own
decisions
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, they gain a sense of control over their lives, which strengthens their self-esteem and emotional intelligence. Over time,
this
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 confidence prepares them for more complex challenges,
such
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 as selecting a career or handling financial matters.
However
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, it is important for parents and teachers to provide guidance, ensuring that
children
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 make safe and reasonable choices without unnecessary risks. In conclusion, giving
children
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 the opportunity to act independently benefits them in numerous ways. It fosters problem-solving skills, builds confidence, enhances creativity, and encourages responsibility.
While
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 parental guidance is necessary, allowing
children
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 to make their own
decisions
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 ultimately helps them become capable, self-reliant, and well-adjusted individuals in the future.

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style
Consider varying the sentence structure and using more complex sentence forms to enhance the richness of the language.
content
Elaborate slightly more on the connection between independence and creativity to strengthen that point.
structure
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively outline your arguments.
content
Strong use of examples to illustrate your main points, such as discussing time management and self-discipline.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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