IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who don’t have large amounts of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and include relevant examples. Write at least 250 words.

#people #health #don’t #amounts #money
Today, many
people
 are working hard and maintaining a healthy diet to achieve their desired level of
health
 and fitness.
However
, it is believed that the rich community can do
this
 more easily than the poor. I completely agree with
this
 view and
this
 essay will present my reasons why.
Firstly
,
people
 who earn a hefty amount of
money
 can have a much healthier diet and can use sophisticated training facilities.
As a result
, they can consistently maintain their
health
 over a longer period of time than the
people
 who can't get access to
such
 food and exercise.
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo is the healthiest sportsman in terms of his body fat percentage;
this
 is because he has hired the best trainer and dietician which is only possible because he has tons of
money
. If other
people
 had that much
money
, they would
also
 be able to maintain their
health
.
In addition
, wealthy
people
 can
also
 afford to visit doctors more often which means that they can diagnose any kind of disease quickly and follow the required treatment.
For instance
, they can even find cancer in its
first
 stage and cure it.
On the other hand
, poor
people
 don't have much wealth to be able to go to hospitals regularly and they only use medical facilities in case of emergency.
This
 means they cannot get the proper treatment if they have a slow poison disorder which will eventually lead to the worst of
health
 conditions. In conclusion, I fully agree that the wealthier community can maintain a healthy lifestyle much easier than those who don't have
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
money
 because they have easier access to
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
 diet, luxurious
work-out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
 facilities and can do
health
-checkup more often.
Submitted by ashishspinsball on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affluent
  • financial hurdles
  • routine check-ups
  • specialized treatments
  • organic foods
  • processed foods
  • personal nutritionists
  • gym memberships
  • personal trainers
  • leisure time
  • stress management
  • financial stability
  • vacations
  • spa treatments
  • therapies
  • clean air
  • water pollution
  • noise pollution
  • financial insecurity
  • healthier environments
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