IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit
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Sports
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 make a man fit and fine, international
sports
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 competitions make a
nation
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 to show there
athletes
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 power, enthusiasm and dedication towards winning medals and
also
Linking Words
 it's a proud movement when
country
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sports
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 person win a medal for his or her
nation
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.
therefore
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country
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 governments spend a lot of
money
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 to make their
athletes
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 perform in any harsh conditions and provide full facilities to cop up all measures required as an international play person . In
this
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 ,essay we discuss the merits and demerits of spending millions on
sports
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. To prepare an athlete there is a lot of effort has been done by coaches and mentors, they dig out all over the
nation
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 to find out good talent and
then
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 it is there and government's responsibility to intune these
sports
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people
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 into international
athletes
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. due to
this
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, they required the latest equipment, technologies and skills, which required an enormous amount of
money
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, the government put their public taxation
money
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 into grooming these
sports
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 persons.If these
athletes
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 do their best, the
nation
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 will be won the medals
for example
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 in the current Common Wealth Games, India win 62 medals and secured 4th rank, before India won, but didn't score
this
Linking Words
 much.
This
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 happens due to good practice equipment, international coaches and high-end techniques. Meanwhile, some society says it's a waste of
people
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's community capital on these kinds of work, they want government should put
this
Linking Words
 bill into the education and healthcare sectors. through which children get a good education and
people
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 can get good healthcare, they
also
Linking Words
 said the authority should spend
money
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 to build new roads, and industries and provide jobs to unemployed
people
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. in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to say, winning a reward for the
country
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 is a proud feeling for every
nation
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 and representing our own
country
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 is beyond the imagination of a
sports
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 person. when your national flag is lifted up with other nations that movement will put tears in your eyes. which is more over the fund sent to them.
this
Linking Words
 will show your love for your folk.
Submitted by parvez.qureshi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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