IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your local council is considering closing a sport and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter: .give details of how you and friends or family use the centre .explain why sport and leisure centre is important for the local community .describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes.

#council #sport #leisure #centre #money #friends #community #effects #people
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Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing to express the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
a sport
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and leisure
centre
Use synonyms
 as it is going to close soon
due to
Linking Words
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 council's decision. During my exams, I always
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to play in
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
 to divert my mind
out of
Change preposition
from
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
my studies
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 and sometimes
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to play with my family and friends too. Me and my friends are using
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
 since we were 10 years old and now we all are about to turn 25, there are many good memories attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
 is very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
important for our local community as many elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are able to sit and talk together. There are
also
Linking Words
 many new families who are expanding their network by meeting new
people
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
 will impact many
people
Use synonyms
.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
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,
people
Use synonyms
 like me who have their memories attached and
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
 is the best place to explore with family and friends. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 affected
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision. Please let me know if anything changes regarding
this
Linking Words
 decision. Yours sincerely, Tirth Thakkar
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and connecting your ideas more fluidly using a wider range of linking devices.
task achievement
Enhance your task achievement by providing more varied and detailed examples of how the centre benefits the community, and by suggesting potential solutions or alternatives to its closure.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed all parts of the task, offering personal experiences and explaining the community impact of the proposed centre closure.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are properly formatted, contributing to a suitable writing tone for the context of the letter.
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