IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2006 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show improvements that have been made to a university campus between 2006 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #improvements #university #campus #information #features #comparisons
The map illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the change in the
infastructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
 of
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
campus
 between 2006 and the present day.
Overall
, there are many changes in the building of the
campus
. Most of the old building
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rebuilt with modern
infastructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
 and the scale of these building are
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
 with many higher towers.
Besides
 that, in 2016,
lawn
Correct article usage
the lawn
show examples
 and seating area, which is located in the centre of
campus
, is evicted for other purposes. First of all, the
university
 offices located in the north of the
campus
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 altered by the science building to
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 science activities.
Besides
 that,
student
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, which is
next
 to the
university
 offices, is
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
 with the
second
 blocks.
Secondly
, after 16 years,
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 block is changed into the
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 building to serve for arts.
Simultanously
Correct your spelling
Simultaneously
, the shops and
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 are modified by another
student
 accommodation.
In addition
, these figures are incorporated into the
student
 facilities- shops offices and put to change for the old
student
 accommodation at the corner in 2006.
Although
 in the past,
lawn
Correct article usage
the lawn
show examples
 & seating area was the place for students to take a break,
this
 factor is eliminated and the
university
campus
 just has the lake
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle.
Submitted by Nghia on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, campus, student with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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