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Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
With the rise of the social-economic status of the majority and accessibility of food, citizens are consuming more and more manufactured goods that are generally high in
sugar
, posing danger to their
health
 and causing critical
health
 issues. Whether making
such
 items more expensive to discourage their consumption or not has sparked a heated debate. Given the effectiveness and benefits to individuals and society at large, I accord with the suggestion and will illustrate the reasons behind it. With regard to the law of demand and supply, the goal of persuading the public to eat less
sugar
 is very likely to be met if the price of the related products increases. A similar phenomenon can be seen in a Hong Kong policy where fewer plastic bags are used after the implementation of a charging scheme.
In other words
, imposing levies will lower the incentive of people getting manufactured products, and
hence
 lower consumption of
sugar
.
Therefore
, I find no reason not to adopt the suggestion. Apart from its foreseeable effectiveness, a mandatory rise in price gives rise to a host of benefits to both individual and public
health
. It is undoubted that cutting
sugar
 intake will alleviate one's
health
. Studies have been proving an array of improvements in body functions after participants have less
sugar
,
such
 as fewer cases of diabetes mellitus and cardiovascular diseases reported.
Moreover
, better personal
health
 will ease the burden on the local healthcare system, which is already in great tension. The government can,
therefore
, mobilize resources to improve the quality of services
instead
 of struggling to satisfy people's needs.
Consequently
, it is essential to make manufactured food and drinks less affordable. Having discussed the effectiveness and positive influences, I utterly agree with the proposal in order to safeguard the
health
 condition of each resident. It is especially true in many developed countries where diseases of affluence are common. In fact, both strong measures and education are required to solve the problems.
Submitted by kwongchamkei on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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