prison is the common way in most countries to solve the roblem of crime.However,a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Crime
has been the major concern of many countries across the world. In the efforts to reduce the
crime
rate
, some
people
believe that retaining in jail is an effective way to alleviate the problem, while others including me reckon that
education
is a more promising solution to a dramatical increase in the
crime
rate
. In
this
essay, the reasons to support my agreement with the latter statement will be presented before my conclusion is reached.
Although
prison could transform offenders into good guys back to society, there are various competent methods that are more effective, and one of them is providing better
education
. Schools and universities do not only provide students with beneficial knowledge and useful skills, but they
also
teach the art of living and cultivate the attitude to be good citizens. According to the statistics data from Royal Thai Police, more than 80 per cent of inmates who commit a
crime
, are uneducated
people
, which do not even study high school.
Therefore
,
education
can discourage individuals to commit a
crime
.
Furthermore
, as the main reason for crimes is poverty, famine, and low quality of life, the number of criminal case steadily rise because they have to steal money from others to survive.
However
,
education
can improve human well-being as
people
can get the opportunity to get better jobs or well-paid work with a higher degree of study.
As a result
,
people
have a better life and do not need to be involved in illegal activities.
For example
, the corruption
rate
in undeveloped countries including Brazil, Srilanka, and Myanmar is enormously higher than in developed countries
such
as the European states, America, and England because the livelihood in civilized nations is already good. In conclusion, providing citizens with the proper learning is more competent to declining the criminal
rate
than retaining the prisoners in jail according to the aforementioned reasons. Presumably, I absolutely agree with the
second
statement.
Moreover
, the authority should focus on study than punishment.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: