IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,
people
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 argue that many employees cannot communicate or interact with other
people
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 and hard to
work
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 as a
team
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reason that causes
this
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 problem and the consequences of the
lack
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 of
such
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 skills.
To begin
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 with, in
this
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 modern world, we have many more
technologies
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 that help
people
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 live easily,
hence
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, it can make
people
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 have a negative effect on their
work
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.
Furthermore
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, the main cause that makes
workers
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 have bad communication or
lack
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 of working as a
team
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 must be
technologies
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 or the education that has been learned before
such
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 as homeschools,
For example
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, many members of the workplace tend to
work
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 at home cause of COVID-19 epidemic,
therefore
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,
people
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 could have less social interaction or contact with other
people
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.
In addition
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, the widespread of
technologies
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 could make
workers
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work
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 faster than before and it can be done on your own. On the one hand, there would be several negative effects on the
workers
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 from the
lack
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 of
such
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 skills.
Moreover
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, members of staff cannot build better relationships with their peers at
work
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 and maybe even working as a
team
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 can be ineffective because they have their own thoughts and never
work
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 with teammates.
For instance
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, after the COVID-19 pandemic, my sister came back to
work
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 at the workplace,
then
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 she felt like she was unfamiliar with working with their
team
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 because of their relationships. The effects of
this
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 could be that
workers
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 socialize. In conclusion, the development of
technologies
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 or a pandemic can be the main cause that makes many employees
lack
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 skills and it
also
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 affects the society of the
workers
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.

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task achievement
Ensure your points are fully developed and explained. Expand your paragraphs to include more detailed support for your claims, giving more specific examples or explanations as needed.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical progression of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next and that there is a clear link between each point. Using transition words can help maintain cohesion.
overall
Avoid redundancy by refining your language and sentence structure to be more concise and impactful. This will help improve overall clarity and effectiveness of communication.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to the discussion.
task response
The paragraph on causes effectively highlights two pertinent reasons for the lack of soft skills, indicating a satisfactory level of analysis.
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