Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is a common belief that the central environmental issue in the 21st century is the depletion of certain species of fauna and flora.
Nevertheless
, a more persuasive assertion is that
water
scarcity, which continually undermines the public’s health as we speak, should be the top priority. In
this
essay, I will attempt to look at both views and shed light on the preference for the latter. On the one hand, the increasing number of dying plants and animals could induce a reduction in biodiversity and negatively affect the food chain. The study of wildlife has proven that the existences of these creatures and varieties are closely intertwined
such
that the loss of any link could
consequently
lead to the loss of another.
However
, one could critique that
this
phenomenon is merely a matter of natural selection.
For instance
, the death of certain species is inevitable to adapt to the ever-changing environment, and
as a result
, new species evolve.
On the other hand
, the acute
water
shortage has far more detrimental repercussions for society. Occupying up to two-thirds of the human body and being used for countless purposes ranging from hydration, cooking, hygiene
and
Correct word choice
apply
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irrigation, etc.,
water
is indispensable not only to the survival of each individual but
also
to the well-being of the whole community.
Moreover
, a primary cause of the aforementioned elemental deficiency is contaminated sources that impose grave threats upon many people globally.
This
circumstance is especially prominent in impoverished areas with substandard and unsanitary living conditions. To illustrate, the high mortality rate of many Africans
due to
waterborne diseases is unequivocal proof of the gravity of clean
water
sufficiency. In conclusion,
while
it would be imprudent to disregard the contraction of plants and animals, one cannot refute that the impacts of
water
scarcity are more palpable and deserve greater attention.
Submitted by baonguyenngoc2694 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and effectively addresses both views, providing a well-structured argument throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas and effective use of cohesive devices. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and the main points are well-supported throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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