IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The government should invest in education and health care. Governments should invest these funds in tourism. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #education #health #care #governments #funds #tourism
In the contemporary epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that funding tourism should be the nation’s highest priority, some opponents and I hold the stance that most funds should be directed to schools and hospitals as spending all the funds on tourism is
such
 a misuse of money. My contention will be
further
 explained. To embark
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, nations should prioritize investing in
education
 as it is crucial to economic progress in the long run. It means that having a well-educated youth may affect society constructively; the more the government subsidizes
education
,
in particular
 the higher levels, the more skilled workforce will be. An eminent example is Korea and Finland, which decided to concentrate on improving the educational process and now they are the world’s leaders in most high-tech companies.
Hence
, what can be said is that funding schools and universities ameliorate the whole society.
Moreover
, despite the indispensable role of
education
 in the countries’ progress, health care is paramount.
In other words
, when it comes to medical research and discovering new medications for malignant diseases, the government has to support them financially.
For example
, The United States and England, invested a high proportion of their budget to find an accurate vaccine to get rid of the pandemic.
Thus
, not only prioritizing the medical field is quintessential for health, but
also
 it has a pivotal role in improving the countries’ future. After
this
 essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that health care and
education
 are the keys to guaranteeing well-doing new generations. I am a staunch believer that authorities ought to pump the majority of funds into schools and medical organizations to raise long-term goals.
Submitted by madonna.ibrahim.labib on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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