IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

According to some people, students from all economic backgrounds should be able to attend university. They believe that the government should provide free university education for everyone. Do you agree with this view?

#people #students #backgrounds #university #government #education
The question of whether or not the
government
 should consider making tertiary
education
 available to all learners has been the subject of recent public discussion. Higher
education
, in my opinion, should be free regardless of income, based on the grounds that it would benefit both individuals and society.
Firstly
, one argument in favour of eliminating
university
 fees is that there are many learners who are unable to pay for their
education
, despite their strong desire to obtain degrees. Without sufficient financial support, these
students
 have no other way to fulfil their dreams. Even in cases where
students
 can afford to pay for
university
, they often have to take out loans and work part-time to pay for their living costs.
This
 can severely affect their grades, and
therefore
, their future career development. It can
also
 leave them with large debts to pay when they finish studying. These financial barriers may discourage highly talented
students
 from pursuing a
university
education
.
Secondly
, no
country
 can prosper without an educated population, so funding free
university
education
 is a long-term investment into the future of the
country
. Taxpayers' money is arguably being misused by governments on initiatives like space exploration. If a
country
 can’t educate its population, there is no sense in investing large amounts of money into ambitious space projects. A far more sensible distribution of
government
 funds could allow thousands of
students
 to fulfil their dreams.
This
 would lead to a more educated society, which would, no doubt, benefit the
country
 as a whole for many years (to come). In conclusion, free
university
education
, regardless of income, is crucial for any society seeking sustainable progress. Expensive tuition fees may discourage some individuals from pursuing
university
 degrees, as young people are often unwilling (reluctant) to carry the burden of their loans for many years after graduation, making
university
 less appealing. The
government
 should be responsible for the cost of tertiary
education
.
Hence
, it would be appropriate for the
government
 to better distribute financial resources in order to do
this
.
Submitted by samuelhui2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Addressed the prompt but could provide more specific examples to support the arguments. Make sure to clearly relate examples to the point being made.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are well connected and flow logically. However, specific examples could be used to reinforce the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: