IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #difference #income #earnings
Most people feel that decreasing the income gap between the wealthy and the needy is key to a joyful community. I disagree with
this
 statement and believe that there are multiple reasons that lead to socio-economic disparity and that the government should come up with effective policies to improve the happiness of societies. On the one hand, countries and economies grow because of the increasing incomes of affluent humans. A drop in the earnings of these wealthy individuals can cause economic shifts in the country and can
also
 affect the employment opportunities of poor people.
Additionally
, these individuals are
also
 the highest taxpayers in the country compared to lower middle-class folks, who in most cases do not even qualify to pay taxes, which would lead to a massive drop in the tax collection of the nation.
On the other hand
, the happiness of a society is not only dependent on monetary aspects. To illustrate, research conducted by United Nations, explains that money is the least contributing factor to creating a happy society and that happiness is more dependent on other aspects
such
 as mental health, education, sense of achievement in the workplace and personal relationships.
Moreover
, the government should come up with initiatives to educate folk in need and create plans to develop them with relevant industrial skills,
thus
 helping them get white collared jobs.
However
, the country can increase the tax percentage for high-earning individuals and use the money to provide educational scholarships. To conclude, closing in on the income gap between the wealthy and poor will not solve the issue. Societies need to be educated and made employable to close
this
 gap. As once they have sufficient funds to provide for themselves and their family, they will automatically develop a sense of joy as a community.
Submitted by ankith.nair2398 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: