IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #traffic #congestion #cities #transport #cost #people #hours #week
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With the increase in population, the incidences of
traffic
 jams are
also
 rising. Some
people
 argue that the government should provide free public
transport
 to reduce
traffic
 congestion. In my opinion,
this
 measure can solve the problem only to a certain extent.
Due to
 urbanization most
people
 now prefer to reside in cities or towns
instead
 of rural areas.
This
 is one of the main reasons for the high density of
traffic
 on roads. At the same time,
due to
 the advancement in technology, cars have become more affordable and fuel-efficient.
This
 has
also
 increased the number of vehicles on the roads. The government is certainly trying to decrease road
traffic
 by making public transportation smooth and speedy.
For example
, in a highly populated city like Ahmedabad BRTS system has been introduced which facilitates bus stations around the whole city.
This
 bus service can be availed 24*7 by
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 but it is not free and
hence
 many
people
 prefer to
use
 their own vehicle). Even if public transportation is free, many
people
 will still prefer to
use
 their own vehicles probably because buses and trains
congested
Add a missing verb
are congested
show examples
 and less comfortable. What’s more, free public
transport
 will be a burden on the exchequer. In my view, there are several other measures that the government can implement to reduce road
traffic
.
For example
, it should build wider roads, construct more flyovers and separate lanes for pedestrians and bicycle riders. At the same time, it should enforce strict
traffic
 laws and encourage
people
 to
use
 eco-friendly modes of
transport
.
To conclude
, making public
transport
 free of cost will definitely encourage more
people
 to
use
 it;
however
, those who prefer comfort and convenience over cost will still continue to
use
 private vehicles and
hence
 it is not an effective way to reduce
traffic
 congestion.
Submitted by bduriseti211 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs. This will help to better guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more explicitly to show depth and balance in your discussion. Acknowledge opposing views and provide rebuttals where appropriate.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples or data points to support your main arguments. This can make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main argument. This creates a strong, cohesive structure.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported, particularly with the example of the Ahmedabad BRTS system. This demonstrates an application of real-world knowledge to the discussion.
general
The writing is overall clear and articulate, conveying ideas effectively. Sentence structure and vocabulary are appropriate for this level of writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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