A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.
According to
a recent article in a newspaper, a 14-years-old
boy destroyed his school. Correct your spelling
14-year-old
Instead
of being sent to jail, he was sentenced to clean streets
. I think it is a fair decision as he is not mature enough to fully understand the consequences of his actions. Correct article usage
the streets
Also
, he might be suffering from mental diseases.
First of all, a vast majority of children under 16 are known to ignore important rules and laws. This
is because their brain and body are not completely formed not allowing them to think about dangerous consequences. In addition
, every child has his own pace of development due to
the features of the environment. Some of them grow fast psychologically and physically, while
others stay on the same level for a couple of years. For instance
, scientists revealed that about 20% of children around the world develop slower than others by 40%.
Furthermore
, the mentioned boy can have a hidden mental illness caused by an excessive amount of stress or psychological trauma. Probably, he is genetically inclined to some types of mental dysfunctions that cannot prevent the release of aggression. Moreover
, a number of diseases cannot be revealed at the early stages of life and appear when a person attains a certain age. For example
, it is almost impossible to know if a kid suffers from depression until he or she reaches 11 years.
In conclusion, I think that the young criminal got the right punishment as it is unlikely that he understands the consequences of his actions. Correct word choice
old.
Additionally
, he may have mental disorders that do not allow him to follow the rules.Submitted by Khan on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more nuanced and detailed arguments. Consider expanding on each point with additional examples or evidence. For example, when discussing the pace of development in children, you could provide more varied examples or statistics.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence construction. For example, 'a 14-years-old boy' should be 'a 14-year-old boy'.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas are a bit abrupt. Try to use more cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. Transitional phrases like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'For example' are useful, but ensure they're used naturally and logically.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving a good framework to the essay.
supported main points
The main points are relevant to the topic and generally well-supported, making the arguments clear and easy to follow.