IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Telephones should be banned from secondary schools agree or disagree with reasons

#telephones #schools
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The table given illustrates five different nations in Europe’s figure of workers identified as
had
Wrong verb form
having
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 accomplished university education in 1999. As is shown in the table, the average percentage of all achieved 19.9%, in which women occupied 20.9%,
of
Change preposition
apply
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2.1% higher than that of
men
. According to
this
, there were three sets of data that were near average level, Spain(18%), France(21%), and Germany (23%), in two of which
Men
 who completed education from university presented to be slightly higher than that of women, within 3%, which were both 25% in Spain and Germany, yet in France women’s figure was 24%, demonstrating a percentage of 6% over that of
men
.
On the contrary
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two sets of data displayed a distance from average ones, in
Norway
Add a comma
,Norway
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 it was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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28% of all workers’ relative figure, which was the highest standard of all five countries, in it women occupied 29.1%, 2% superior to that of
men
,
conversely
, stood for the lowest level, showing a percentage of 7% in the question, and
men
's university education background achieved to be 4% higher than woman's, of 9%.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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