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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #age
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Nowadays, it is much easier to see elderly
people
Use synonyms
 at work than it used to be in the past. As soon as the newfound policy of letting
people
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 decide their retirement age has been brought in by several countries, many assert the fruitful outcomes it can bring while others doubt its efficacy. Both views will be taken into thorough consideration in
this
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 essay where the author’s opinion is given. On the one hand, working can be beneficial to not just the old but
also
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 the society. On reaching retirement, our movement of life becomes steady and quiet, and while many enjoy
this
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 turn to a new leap of life, some hold an opposing attitude
for
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toward
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 its monotony that makes them feel aimless and unmotivated.
Therefore
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, letting the old
people
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 do the jobs they want may bring a fresh wind to their life, giving them existence reasons.
Moreover
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, in the context that many countries have struck warning notes about
aging
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ageing
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 populations, filling job vacancies with old
people
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 could serve as a makeshift solution to understaffing in some fields so that businesses can operate properly to some extent.
On the other hand
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, letting the elders work can create some detrimental effects that may surpass the pros. It has been pointed out that as we age, we are more prone to having mental dysfunctions,
such
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 as forgetfulness and longer time for reflexing and
this
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 put the business in an ordeal by creating many extraneous expenses, namely healthcare costs for old workers, enormous remediation costs for a preternatural number of human errors,
thus
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 creating considerable deficits. What is more, validating aged contenders betokens an intensification of competition in the race to recruitment, reduced opportunities for young applicants and eventually possibilities of unemployment rate acceleration. In conclusion, when old
people
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 are admitted into workplaces, it is the cons that outweigh the pros by creating a fair share of problems on a large scale.
This
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 policy is advisable to be applied only as a
last
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 resort and in
combinations
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combination
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 with proper solutions to mitigate the detriments.
Submitted by nguyenphananhquan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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