Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of education.
While
some people believe that Linking Words
schools
should focus only on academic subjects and passing the exam, I would argue that Use synonyms
schools
should not focus only on academic learning but Use synonyms
also
teach some practical Linking Words
skills
to Use synonyms
students
. I will explain my reasons in Use synonyms
this
essay.
There is no doubt that learning some practical Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
such
as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking can benefit children to know essential life Linking Words
skills
. Use synonyms
This
is because pupils will know how to prepare easy foods for themselves, and they can sew their own clothes, which can be important for their future. Linking Words
For example
, recent news in Japan reported that 80% of Linking Words
students
who learned cooking Use synonyms
skills
from Use synonyms
schools
can help their Use synonyms
parents
prepare their own meals. Use synonyms
As a result
, children can gain new practical Linking Words
skills
from school.
It is worth pointing out that Use synonyms
schools
can teach practical Use synonyms
skills
better than Use synonyms
parents
and friends. Use synonyms
This
is based on the fact that most Linking Words
parents
do not have enough time and knowledge to teach practical Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
such
as cookery and woodworking to their children. Linking Words
For instance
, in Australia, many colleges have subjects to teach their Linking Words
students
about woodworking Use synonyms
skills
which can improve their knowledge, practice and creativity and Use synonyms
also
, provide opportunities to develop their woodworking Linking Words
skills
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
students
will have the opportunity to learn woodworking Use synonyms
skills
, which can be important to their future careers.
In conclusion, we can observe that Use synonyms
schools
should not focus only on academic learning but Use synonyms
also
teach some practical Linking Words
skills
to Use synonyms
students
. Use synonyms
Overall
, I firmly believe that Linking Words
students
should not learn practical Use synonyms
skills
from their Use synonyms
parents
and friends, and they should only learn from their teachers who have enough knowledge and experience.Use synonyms
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on
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Task Achievement
You've made a solid argument, firmly stating your position and supporting it with relevant examples, which is key for a high score. Consider incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence for an even stronger case.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good organization and flow of ideas, which is commendable. To enhance coherence, try to link your ideas and paragraphs more explicitly, using a variety of linking words and transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
For an even deeper analysis, consider discussing potential counterarguments to your view and refuting them. This could add complexity to your essay, showing critical thinking skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear thesis statement in the introduction sets the tone for the essay.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your main points, strengthening your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences make your essay easy to follow.