Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of education.
While
some people believe that
schools
should focus only on academic subjects and passing the exam, I would argue that
schools
should not focus only on academic learning but
also
teach some practical
skills
to
students
. I will explain my reasons in
this
essay. There is no doubt that learning some practical
skills
such
as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking can benefit children to know essential life
skills
.
This
is because pupils will know how to prepare easy foods for themselves, and they can sew their own clothes, which can be important for their future.
For example
, recent news in Japan reported that 80% of
students
who learned cooking
skills
from
schools
can help their
parents
prepare their own meals.
As a result
, children can gain new practical
skills
from school. It is worth pointing out that
schools
can teach practical
skills
better than
parents
and friends.
This
is based on the fact that most
parents
do not have enough time and knowledge to teach practical
skills
such
as cookery and woodworking to their children.
For instance
, in Australia, many colleges have subjects to teach their
students
about woodworking
skills
which can improve their knowledge, practice and creativity and
also
, provide opportunities to develop their woodworking
skills
.
Consequently
,
students
will have the opportunity to learn woodworking
skills
, which can be important to their future careers. In conclusion, we can observe that
schools
should not focus only on academic learning but
also
teach some practical
skills
to
students
.
Overall
, I firmly believe that
students
should not learn practical
skills
from their
parents
and friends, and they should only learn from their teachers who have enough knowledge and experience.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

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Task Achievement
You've made a solid argument, firmly stating your position and supporting it with relevant examples, which is key for a high score. Consider incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence for an even stronger case.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good organization and flow of ideas, which is commendable. To enhance coherence, try to link your ideas and paragraphs more explicitly, using a variety of linking words and transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
For an even deeper analysis, consider discussing potential counterarguments to your view and refuting them. This could add complexity to your essay, showing critical thinking skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear thesis statement in the introduction sets the tone for the essay.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your main points, strengthening your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences make your essay easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Holistic education
  • Well-rounded education
  • Practical life skills
  • Foster creativity
  • Problem-solving abilities
  • Socio-economic gaps
  • Stress relief
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Educational readiness
  • Career readiness
  • Job market
  • Versatile
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Cultural development
  • Personal growth
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