Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of education.
While
some people believe that schools
should focus only on academic subjects and passing the exam, I would argue that schools
should not focus only on academic learning but also
teach some practical skills
to students
. I will explain my reasons in this
essay.
There is no doubt that learning some practical skills
such
as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking can benefit children to know essential life skills
. This
is because pupils will know how to prepare easy foods for themselves, and they can sew their own clothes, which can be important for their future. For example
, recent news in Japan reported that 80% of students
who learned cooking skills
from schools
can help their parents
prepare their own meals. As a result
, children can gain new practical skills
from school.
It is worth pointing out that schools
can teach practical skills
better than parents
and friends. This
is based on the fact that most parents
do not have enough time and knowledge to teach practical skills
such
as cookery and woodworking to their children. For instance
, in Australia, many colleges have subjects to teach their students
about woodworking skills
which can improve their knowledge, practice and creativity and also
, provide opportunities to develop their woodworking skills
. Consequently
, students
will have the opportunity to learn woodworking skills
, which can be important to their future careers.
In conclusion, we can observe that schools
should not focus only on academic learning but also
teach some practical skills
to students
. Overall
, I firmly believe that students
should not learn practical skills
from their parents
and friends, and they should only learn from their teachers who have enough knowledge and experience.Submitted by v.mahatkomol on
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Task Achievement
You've made a solid argument, firmly stating your position and supporting it with relevant examples, which is key for a high score. Consider incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence for an even stronger case.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good organization and flow of ideas, which is commendable. To enhance coherence, try to link your ideas and paragraphs more explicitly, using a variety of linking words and transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
For an even deeper analysis, consider discussing potential counterarguments to your view and refuting them. This could add complexity to your essay, showing critical thinking skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear thesis statement in the introduction sets the tone for the essay.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your main points, strengthening your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences make your essay easy to follow.
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