IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

"Prevention is better tha cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invet in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #tha #cure #diseases #invet #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems around the world are burdened by the ever-growing population number of those with non-communicable diseases
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and cardiovascular disease, which is more so for developed countries where food habits are much unhealthier compared to developing countries.
This
Linking Words
 bares a huge
cost
Use synonyms
 on any economy and
hence
Linking Words
 prevention is certainly better than cure
however
Linking Words
, research is required to determine the best treatment methods and
this
Linking Words
 is a
cost
Use synonyms
 that cannot be avoided. The
Cost
Use synonyms
 of
Healthcare
Use synonyms
 can become quite burdensome on a country
furthermore
Linking Words
, it is the role of governments to encourage the healthy living of its citizens, by means of encouraging preventive
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems. Few countries around the world as Sri Lanka have a free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 system where it encourages people to keep healthy at almost no additional
cost
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 in return has a direct positive impact on the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 sector.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe it is of the utmost importance that workforce stress levels are minimized as
this
Linking Words
 is known to cause a number of other complications.
This
Linking Words
 could be done by means of encouraging society to get help when required without having to hide emotions and building stress levels due to various reasons both in the workplace and in their personal lives. In conclusion, good health is a basic human right and a government needs to provide the most basic facilities its people require to live a healthy life, be it food habits, agriculture, managing work stress etc. Managing these could help drastically reduce the burden of
healthcare
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
Submitted by nayomi28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: