Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that
work
is one of the most essential parts of a human being’s life.
Therefore
, many
people
believe that their life will become nothing if they do not succeed in their careers. I partly disagree with
this
idea since there are several other factors that are crucial for humanity. On the one hand, admittedly,
work
is very pivotal to everyone.
Firstly
, by working,
people
can enhance many fundamental skills and improve their knowledge in their field.
That is
to say,
this
will make
people
either emerge their full potential or discover new breakthroughs in certain subjects which they have already mastered.
Secondly
, they can earn money to support not only their own livelihood but
also
their families. Ultimately, albeit some
people
, especially scientists or the affluent ones, are not money-oriented, they still
work
passionately and diligently towards their goals to show their abilities and earn respect from other
people
simply just to desire to find something new for the human race. Najwa Shihab, a well-known Indonesian journalist,
for example
, has thought that she works just for war against justice in Indonesia's political world regardless of the wages she got.
On the other hand
, from my perspective, health
also
is a thing that should not be neglected. Obviously, we cannot
work
well with poor health.
Thus
, the performance of a person who gets a fatal disease will be affected a lot.
Moreover
, if most
people
just focus on
work
, one day they will get seriously sick, which might lead to a burden for their families. In 2016, research results released by the Indonesian Epidemic Journal Center showed that there is a significant number of workers suffering from various diseases reaching about 70%, and
this
number has been increasing year by year.
Consequently
, not only they will be affected but
also
others who take care of them. In conclusion,
although
I admit that having a successful job is the top priority of each individual's goals, we should
also
be more careful about our health to make our life better.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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