Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, some say that
people
tend to grasp concepts more effectively when they learn from peers, like classmates or colleagues, rather than from those in higher positions, such
as teachers or bosses. Personally, I particularly agree with this
statement because peers are able to connect with each other at one level.
To begin
, it is clear that
people
who are at the same level are able to explain anything in their own language of explanation, so they can understand almost any topic. They do not use difficult words and terms in order to teach their co-workers or schoolfriends, instead
, they prefer to give information by utilizing simple words, which usually assists them in making it easier. Moreover
, those who are listeners or people
who need explanation have the freedom to communicate with those at their own level in an informal way. It means that they may not be formal or businesslike in their communication with each other.
In addition
, although
individuals can ask for help from their supervisors or mentors, it is viable that they can be rude in their relationships. For example
, many workers struggle with their bosses in their workplaces, hearing too many orders, insults and threats these days; thus
several people
tend to not talk with their supervisors. Additionally
, it is true that some schoolchildren cannot easily understand what the tutors are teaching them because, nowadays, some teachers have issues with explaining and teaching skills due to
the dearth of education. Consequently
, teenagers are prone to ask for assistance from their classmates to clarify some subjects.
In conclusion, I totally agree with the idea that individuals can learn more efficiently by asking for support from their peers or co-workers instead
of taking teachings from their mentors and bosses.Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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task achievement
It would be beneficial to include more specific examples to support your points. For example, referencing personal experiences or well-known situations can make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well and is easy to follow, but some transitions could be smoother. You might use linking words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' to make the paragraph shifts more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of minor language inaccuracies. While they don’t substantially detract from the overall quality, ensuring correct word usage and grammar can enhance readability.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, which is good for setting up your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have successfully highlighted multiple points to support your argument, such as the informal communication among peers and potential rudeness from supervisors.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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