IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the present era, people mostly depend on the consumer products for living smoothly. These items give a number of benefits to someone’s life besides the some problems it might bring

#era #people #consumer #products #items #someone’s #life
Following the development of technology, many gadgets and
products
 are becoming essential
items
 in
people
's daily
life
. These
items
 bring convenience to
people
's lives, but they are some problems that came after which are that
people
 are getting less active and lack physical movement. Admittedly, many
products
 on the market nowadays are making our
life
 easier, a lot of work that could not be done easily by human power alone become easy tasks in the blink of an eye.
For example
,
people
 had to walk miles to get to the destination which might take them a few days, but luckily, nowadays vehicles had invented which help
people
 easily travel to wherever they want.
Additionally
, after high technology gadgets
such
 as mobile phones have invented, our world became closer,
people
 now can make a phone call or video call to connect to the other side of the globe which is impossible in the past. The great benefits of
products
 and
items
 in modern
life
 bring convenience to many
people
 in society which is now become an essential thing in their
life
.
On the other hand
, those
products
 could be poison to our bodies, due to the convenience that
people
 have got from those
items
,
people
 tend to reduce their physical exercise which impacts an individual's health in the short and long term.
For example
, some
people
 prefer using cars
instead
 of walking to work which might take them only 10 minutes and a lot of
people
 tend to stay at home shopping online
instead
 of going out with friends or family members to the shopping malls which is a good way to exercise and to spend quality time with friends and family. In conclusion,
although
 consumer
products
 bring us many impressive impacts on
people
's lives, those
items
 might take away our health in terms of lack of physical exercise.
Submitted by clairchengun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: