Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

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At present time, famous sports professionals are wealthier than other parts of society. Some

people

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believe that it's definitely fair while others have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

opposite belief. Personally, I agree with the

second

Linking Words

view,

however

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, it doesn't mean

athletes

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should earn similar money that other

people

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receive.

This

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following essay

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apply

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will compare two opinions and my view will be mentioned.

Linking Words

First

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The first

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group say that

athletes

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have a really better financial situation far more than they expected.

Although

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they achieve a special place in countries which helps them to become famous and popular among

people

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, other professions like teaching, nursing and lowers have more useful, stressful and paramount careers to nations and their education and health. They believe that

this

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part of society is more eligible to have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

economic situation. Whereas, they have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

same

earning

Correct your spelling

earnings

show examples

as other jobs and there isn't any preference for them in getting better

earning

Correct your spelling

earnings

show examples

or services. Another part of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that

athletes

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would be able to bring wealth into their community.

Besides

Linking Words

, they can help their nation to attract

consideration

Add an article

the consideration

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of other countries.

This

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makes so many opportunities for the governments to create more wealth and better economic

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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for

nation

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the nation

show examples

In other words

Linking Words

, sportsmen/women are really profitable than we think. They say that if nations want to become developed, they should support their

athletes

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as well. To conclude, I believe that

athletes

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have a considerable effect on developing countries and it's not surprising that they are

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show examples

the

center

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centre

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

consideration

Replace the word

consider

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However

Linking Words

, if authorities want to reduce the differences between members of society, they should pay more attention to other jobs.

Submitted by aminyari888 on Sat Sep 17 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.