IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that technology causes more problems for modern society than it solves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #society
Some claim that technological advancements trigger more issues than they actually resolve. In my opinion, while some people have been laid inactive due to
technology
, it has made our lives become much easier. Ones who provoke the negative view of
technology
 often point to the prevalence of the sedentary lifestyle in the modern day. Due to the prevalence of computer-based and digital entertainment, staying at home and passively watching screens has become more popular than engaging in outdoor activities.
This
 can be apparently seen in a recent survey of Vietnamese students when asked what they do in their pastimes, most of them would choose to play games. A number of them neglected fitness activities and mentioned that their communication was poorly affected
as a result
.
Moreover
, there can be potential health problems linked to
this
 including obesity and short-sightedness. Albeit the presented, I have to consider the convenience to people's lives since the boom of
technology
. Over the
last
 50 years, technological advances have grown at an ever-increasing rate with numerous innovations to benefit humanity. Looking only at one area of manufacturing, manual production in the past has been replaced with robot engineers which can perform with more accuracy and speed, and in dangerous situations.
This
 has resulted in a short turnaround time and enabled humans to do other tasks.
Therefore
, production can be a lot more cost-efficient, leading to cheaper prices so that the products can reach a wider range of consumers. In conclusion,
technology
 offers more benefits than downsides because of the ease in our daily lives. People who blame
technology
 for their sedentary lifestyles can be criticised for their poor time management and irresponsibility.
Submitted by vuanhhibstrading on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: