More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #activities #networks #purposes #development

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this

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technological development ,era all

people

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are connected via social networks. In order to mingle and be successful financial ,settlements modern

people

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are depended on internet

services

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Although

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there are optimal benefits of adding personal

details

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to social media platforms, some hidden negative sides are

also

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present in

this

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network-connected world. I am partially supporting

this

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notion and explain it in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, modern communities are well educated and experienced to handle mobile and internet connections. Technology helps to reduce human efforts and introduced smart dealings

accordingly

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. For every online , service we should provide our valid

data

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to initiate the

services

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For example

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, if you want to book an air ticket you could easily do it through your mobile phone. But

people

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should provide accurate personal

details

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otherwise

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, it leads to security threats. Eventually, sharing personal

details

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is better but it should be protected.

On the other hand

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, personal

data

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are significant for all

people

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. So keeping it unprotected leads to financial threats as well as personal life.

However

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, well-protected

data

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servers can handle

this

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threat with the help of smart technologists working behind it.

For instance

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, a report highlighted as one of Holiday Inn hotel's servers is hacked by hackers and customers'

details

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are missed.

Furthermore

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, the cybersecurity investigation team enquired and arrested the fellows who did

this

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crime.

Therefore

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, sharing personal

details

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for social and financial

services

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is better than only having enhanced security protocols for web

services

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. To sum up, it is essential to add personal

details

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for using various

services

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on internet platforms but

people

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should be aware of their own security and have to gain good knowledge regarding the platform where you are providing your

data

Use synonyms

Submitted by dilin1212 on Mon Sep 19 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal information
Online privacy
Security concerns
Identity theft
Enhanced connectivity
Convenient access
Social networks
Banking purposes
Positive development
Negative impact

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Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

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The diagramm below illustrate how recylced paper is made.

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?