These days, an increasing number of people in many cities know little about their neighbors and do not have a sense of community. What do you think are the causes and what solutions can you suggest?

#people #cities #neighbors #sense #community

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Currently, humankind is closing its inner circle of friends and hardly interacting with new

people

This

is making individuals not enjoy the fullest of their cities and not know other citizens.I believe the causes for it are the advance in entertainment technologies and our modern lives,

however

, the government can do several actions to tackle

this

issue and maximize social

events

First

of all, electronic devices changed the way

people

entertain themselves. There are several kinds of entertainment without needing to leave our houses nowadays.

For example

people

can use computers or subscribe to one of the plenty

streaming

Change preposition

of streaming

show examples

services available and never be bored anymore.

That is

why local authorities must create interesting

events

to make

people

socialize more.A few solutions to

this

issue could be community fairs with crafts from local individuals,

moreover

, regular sports competitions with an after-party for only local residents so they can know more about their neighbours.

Likewise

, the fast-paced work-life everyone has and the lack of free time

also

make it difficult to start new friendships. Individuals tend to spend more time at work than at home and are constantly tired to go to social

events

Therefore

, the government should create laws that would allow workers to have one day off every month if they do something for the community.

For instance

,voluntary work within the neighbourhood they live in,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

help

Replace the word

helping

show examples

elders in need, some maintenance at the local park,

anything

Correct word choice

or anything

show examples

that would be done amongst their neighbours. ln conclusion, our modern lives took us apart from our communities.

Thus

, local authorities must do something to change

this

. Some solutions are voluntary work and more social

events

so citizens could interact and meet new friends.

Submitted by 416627367 on Tue Sep 27 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sense of community
neighbors
interaction
communication
busy and fast-paced lifestyles
technology
social media
community events
neighborhood watch programs
community centers
clubs
block parties
potluck dinners
online platforms
engagement
sense of belonging
inclusivity

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