nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In contemporary society, many people are moving towards the trend of utilizing natural remedies and medications that are not prescribed by general

peractitioners

Correct your spelling

practitioners

However

Linking Words

, I adhere to the belief that these

attemps

Correct your spelling

attempts

could lead to harmful results without the

consult

Replace the word

consultation

show examples

doctors

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

using unprescribed medication

seem

Correct subject-verb agreement

seems

show examples

to be an easy choice, the side effects of some of these products are quite unknown in the public eye.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

unawareness can lead to more severe conditions

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the initial illness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many would tag

along with

Linking Words

some conventional cures which can

imeliorate

Correct your spelling

ameliorate

meliorate

the pain at first but contribute to many chronic conditions in the near future. A recent study demonstrated that more than half of the individuals who refuse to visit

doctors

Use synonyms

when sick, tend to get better only temporarily before they collapse into a more challenging sickness.

Doctors

Use synonyms

are well-trained for a prolonged period of time to assess any type of condition;

therefore

Linking Words

, they are highly qualified to

perscribe

Correct your spelling

prescribe

medicine when necessary.

However

Linking Words

, the journey of healing might take a lot longer

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

anticipated if the patient has already

took

Change the verb form

taken

show examples

various tablets or serums.

This

Linking Words

would interfere with the work of the professional are result in a more complex healing process;

not to mention

Linking Words

that

instead

Linking Words

of one problem, now

physician

Correct article usage

the physician

show examples

has to juggle multiple side effects as well. Take herbal remedies as an example; it has

mirrored

Add a missing verb

been mirrored

show examples

nomerous

Correct your spelling

numerous

publications that these treatments have zero effect on the welfare of patients and ironically

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them more prone to other illnesses. In a nutshell, people are now more

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

ever lured into alternative medicines to cure a sickness without being examined by

doctors

Use synonyms

. I am extremely opposed to

this

Linking Words

action

due to

Linking Words

the multiple reasons that

where

Correct your spelling

were

show examples

elaborated in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well, but to enhance task achievement, ensure the examples are specific and relevant. For example, you can mention specific types of alternative treatments and their risks.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to improve the logical flow between the paragraphs and sentences. For instance, using more transition words can help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Clarify and streamline your ideas. Some of your points are valid but could be articulated more clearly. Re-writing them in simpler terms might help communicate your argument better.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, the main body paragraphs could benefit from more cohesive devices and linking phrases to improve readability and connection between ideas.

positive

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.

positive

You’ve provided logical reasons for your position, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Below is a chart showing how many hours per week the average person spent on various kinds of media,including watching TV,surfing on the internet,listening to the radio,and reading printed material.The years covered are from 1990 to 2005.

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government to solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

In the future all cars ,buses,and trucks will be driverless .the only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passangers . Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outhwight the disadvantage ?