IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Today, people prefer online communication
instead
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 of face-to-face conversation.
However
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, in my understanding,
this
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 trend is a negative development as it is an indication of increasing isolation in society. To commence with, in-person interaction helps in developing communication skills. Face-to-face contact improves formal conversation
whereas
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 virtual chatting involves informal speech and the use of slang.
Additionally
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, direct socializing seems to be beneficial for interviews and public speaking talks.
Also
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, it trains folk for a better presentation of ideas.
In addition
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, it induces a sense of professionalism.
For instance
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, the admission process at Harvard University comprises of in-person communication round which is quite difficult to crack for many students.
Hence
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, promoting face-to-face interaction is immensely essential for personal
as well as
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 professional growth. Another point to be noted is that being more engaged in social activity detaches a person from the real world. Connecting with the public directly provides a secure and trustworthy environment.
Furthermore
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, it helps an individual to share their issues fearlessly and
consequently
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 decreases the risk of mental instability.
Moreover
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,
such
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 efforts boost our confidence
as well as
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 reduce the chances
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 hopeless and sorrowful.
For example
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,
according to
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 records, the major reason for depression is loneliness
due to
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 the inability to interact directly.
Thus
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, interacting with the population personally endorses effective mental health.
To conclude
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, the fashion of conversing virtually is non-progressive as it leads to various other difficulties.
Although
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 it is productive to seek the service of technology to communicate with long-distance relatives, it is recommended to speak face-to-face to enhance our socializing skills.

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task response
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic and have provided relevant supporting points. However, consider addressing the counter-argument for a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and maintains coherence throughout. However, ensure to use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
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