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Writing Samples
Band 7

A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?

#lack #students #science #subjects #universities #countries #effects #society
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In recent years, more
students
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 tend to choose other majors rather than
science
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subjects
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.
This
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 phenomenon is
due to
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 some reasons, and it would affect our society and economy. The major reason why fewer
students
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 are willing to select
science
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subjects
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 is because professional expertise needs too much
time
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 to specialize. In
this
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 case, it would reduce
students
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’ leisure
time
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 to participate in other activities,
such
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 as clubs, and parties.
For instance
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, Asian
students
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 who major in the school of medicine have no other choice but to spend plenty of
time
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 on different
subjects
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; especially around the midterm, they used to sacrifice sleeping and recreation
time
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 for study.
Consequently
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, it would decline the willingness to major in those demanding
subjects
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.
However
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, it may lead to several effects on the society.
To begin
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 with, if
students
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 do not decide to major in
science
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subjects
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, those fields will face a workforce shortage in the future. From a long-term perspective, it is hard for nations to keep increasing and improving
science
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 development. Take a clear example, the lack of skilled workers, it is hard for manufacturers to enhance a high-tech smartphone with numerous functions.
Moreover
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, the fewer
students
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 who study
science
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, the fewer related job vacancies would be hired.
Hence
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, many graduates in these fields may face unemployment and cause society’s burden. In conclusion, the shortage of
students
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 choosing
science
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subjects
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 is caused by several factors like the study
time
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as well as
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 the burden, and
this
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 problem might slow down the development of technology and even unemployment.
Submitted by sherry0588 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Though you've done this, make your introduction and conclusion more impactful by clearly summarizing your main points and your stance on the issue.
Support for Ideas
Develop your ideas more comprehensively with deeper analysis and more varied examples. You've provided some examples, but more specific and varied examples could improve the depth of your essay.
Flow and Linking
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Language Use
A more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures can enhance the expression of your ideas and make your essay more engaging to the reader. Avoid repetition of words where possible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • perceived difficulty
  • lack of exposure
  • higher earning potential
  • technological advancement
  • healthcare implications
  • economic consequences
  • educational reforms
  • inspiration
  • early education
  • job security
  • innovation
  • medical advancements
  • scientific expertise
  • shortages
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