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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life
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People
 have different views about whether
people
 should be competitive or cooperative in each part of
life
.
While
 a spirit of
competition
 can sometimes be useful in
life
,
However
, from my point of view, being a cooperative person is more important. On the one hand, some
people
 believe that
competition
 is really crucial for work, school and in daily
life
.
Competition
 can be a great source of motivation.
People
 usually take power from
competition
. If we look at history, we can see that always
people
 and countries were competing for each other.
As a result
, we have been making many discoveries and
scientistic
Correct your spelling
scientific
show examples
 investments.
Moreover
, if we look at the wildlife, we can see that animals always compete with each other because of nutrition sources and
life
. So I can understand why
people
 support being competitive areas.
On the other hand
, Some
people
 think that cooperative
life
 is better than
competition
. It seems clear that human
life
 has been improving day by day. More and more days
people
 need help with everything from other
people
.
For instance
, when a doctor cannot find a solution to a specific disease, he usually asks another doctor.
As a result
, they work together and they find a solution easily.
Furthermore
, technology is developing more fastly than before. If
people
 who have some profession do not work cooperatively, knowledge cannot be common. So, science or any technology cannot be improved. In conclusion, I can understand why
people
 support competitive areas,
however
, it seems to me that cooperative
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is much more crucial than
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
.
Submitted by yito18750 on

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task response
To enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument for both competition and cooperation. This helps in illustrating your point more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain cohesion. Using linking phrases can enhance the flow between your ideas and paragraphs.
task response
You've effectively presented both viewpoints and concluded with your opinion, which is a strong indicator of a complete task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your arguments easy to follow.
task response
You have used examples from history and modern life, which support your points and increase the relevance of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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