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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extend do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
In
society
,
scientists
 and
experts
 seem to be more important than
musicians
 and
artisits
Correct your spelling
artists
.
Modren
Correct your spelling
Modern
society
 affects due to
musicians
 and artists rather than
scientists
 and
technology
experts
. On one hand, the more important value of modern
society
 is
scientists
 and
Correct your spelling
technology
tehcnology
Correct your spelling
technology
experts
. They
work
 hard to bring change in
society
 and provide
us
Change the pronoun
our
show examples
 latest
technology
for example
 computers, machines,
automachines
Correct your spelling
auto machines
, etc. In recent years, when there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no
technology
people
 did not aware
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 to do. They really did hard
work
 for themselves. But
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
,
technology
 is growing fast. All
work
done
Add a missing verb
is done
show examples
 by machines. There is no need for
people
 to do all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
work
. Most
work
done
Add a missing verb
is done
show examples
 by
technology
 like cashiers doing all their jobs on computers,
doctors
Correct word choice
and doctors
show examples
prescription
Fix the agreement mistake
prescriptions
show examples
all
Add a missing verb
are all
show examples
 done by computer. There is no need for paper and pen to write
Correct article usage
a prescription
show examples
prescription
Fix the agreement mistake
prescriptions
show examples
 by
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
. I agree that they play an important part in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
musicians
 and artists are only for
enjoyment
Add an article
the enjoyment
show examples
 of
society
. They perform their songs for fun and enjoyment. They create some smiles and
excitment
Correct your spelling
excitement
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
 of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. In conclusion, The importance of
experts
 and
scientists
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more important than
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 else.
However
,
musicians
 and artists
also
 play role in
society
. They give
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
show examples
 moments and fun time to
people
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 both play an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
 but
experts
 are more important because they make life easy to make better products.
Submitted by Faisal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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