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Band 6.5

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Why are some people who leave school early more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Provide reasons why they are more successful and what are the requirements for success?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development #people #school #studies #requirements #success
Traditionally, people used to go to
school
 and university to complete their
studies
, in order to be able to find a job in future. Nowadays, they are tending to seek other opportunities, which is true, resulting in more money than the regular 9 to 5 careers. Some believe that leaving
school
 at an early age makes you more successful in life.
Furthermore
, by giving real-life examples, we are going to support
this
 point of view in the below passage.
Firstly
, most celebrities around the world using different
skills
,
such
 as singing earns higher salaries than politicians. Indeed, recent
studies
 show that singers' salaries can reach more than $100,000 a day from only one concert.
For example
, some concert entry tickets might reach $300 per person, for only one hour. Some celebrities are so rich, they travel the world, and they own villas costing millions of dollars. On other hand, we rarely notice a rich politician, who only depends on his monthly salary.
In addition
, Some can obviously notice that nowadays, people who left their
school
, are more successful in their life, than those who completed 16 years of the educational program.
Moreover
,
studies
 show that to learn a new skill you need around 2 years to be professional, and
this
 is the main reason why those people become more successful because they are learning
skills
 that are not well known by others,
for example
, Elon musk , left
school
 to learn more about programming, and he is now so rich. So rather than spending 16 years of traditional
studies
, he spent his time learning a skill, which made him a millionaire and
this
 is exactly the requirement to be successful. In conclusion, society should not follow the traditional way of teaching, they should start teaching their children to learn more
skills
, in order to be successful in their life, while most families tend to send their children to the academy, it is more important now to teach them new
skills
.
Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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