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Band 2.5

People are becoming more health concious nowadays. Do you agree or diagree

#people #health #concious #diagree
The bar chart compares the numbers of
men
 and
women
 who were full-time
members
 of the
health
club
 in Miami and Florida and the pie charts illustrate the percentages of males and females belonging to various
age
 groups. Overall, more
men
 than
women
 joined the
health
club
 in the year 2017 and the number of full-time
members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both sexes was highest in autumn. The majority of the
health
club
 participants belonged to the
age
 group of 21-45. In the early months of the year 2017, the number of
men
 and
women
 enrolling in the
health
club
 was relatively low, less than 600 males and females while there was a surge in the average monthly use of
health
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 in
autumn
Correct article usage
the autumn
show examples
 months,
over
Change preposition
with over
show examples
 800
men
 and 700
women
. By
Correct your spelling
contrast
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the figures for
winter
Correct article usage
the winter
show examples
 months noticeably dropped, especially in December,
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 just 500 females and 600 males taking part in the
club
. In terms of the percentages of
health
club
members
 classified by
age
 and gender, more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
men
 ages 21-45 participated in the
health
club
 while 55%
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 in the same
age
 group engaged in the
club
 in 2017. The
second
 highest proportions were
men
 and
women
 older than 65, making up a quarter of the overall number of male
members
 and less than a
third
 of that of female participants.
Submitted by nhuminh031001 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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