Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

#people #zoos #places #animals #nature #choice

It is often argued whether

zoos

are educational places or wrong to keep them in

zoos

. Even though there are some disadvantages for the

animals

, I completely believe that

zoos

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

excessively efficient places for

people

and

also

for the city. In the world, there is a variety of species that all live on different continents. The main reason that

zoos

are beneficial is they usually allow us to see other continents'

animals

. As elephants walk in the

street

Fix the agreement mistake

streets

show examples

in Asia,

this

is normal to see

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Asian

people

but there are not any elephants in Europe except in

zoos

. That's why

people

can witness different types of

animals

and their behaviours in

zoos

On the other hand

, since almost all children love

animals

, it is a great fun family activity.

Also

, nowadays many schools organize zoo trips for educational purposes

such

as learning about wildlife and nature.

Moreover

, there are economic and environmental

good

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

effects of

zoos

. In many countries,

zoos

can

use

Verb problem

apply

show examples

protect endangered species.

For instance

, the panda was on the edge of extinction in 2002 and Austria's government decided to take them to a special zoo, after a two-decade they survived extinction.

Also

zoos

allow scientists to study animal behaviours and these reports are significantly important for many fields like medicine.

Furthermore

zoos

supply many job opportunities for the local

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

raised

Wrong verb form

raise

show examples

the city's gross as it is a big pull factor. The income gained from

zoos

can help more species preservation. In conclusion,

zoos

have economic, environmental and educational benefits. That's why I strongly believe that as

people

can learn much about

animals

zoos

are educational places for the community.

Submitted by drsoguzhan on Wed Oct 05 2022

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Task Response

Overall, your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both sides of the argument and providing reasons to support your opinion. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction for better task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Task Response

Good job discussing the benefits of zoos for educational purposes and the environment.

Task Response

Well-developed examples and arguments support your opinion effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that summarize your points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK-2 Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.