IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Since ancient times
people
Use synonyms
 tried to treat themselves
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 herbals and
another natural products
Replace the adjective
another natural product
other natural products
show examples
.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days
this
Linking Words
 type of
treatment
Use synonyms
 is
named as
Verb problem
called
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 with some diseases decide to use
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicines
instead
Linking Words
 of classic
medicine
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will try to discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of using traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
. The first reason is that nobody knows how
this
Linking Words
treatment
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 will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person’s health. There are a lot of cases when using different herbals caused allergic
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 and some
people
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dead
Replace the word
died
show examples
. The next reason is that
people
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 who do not have any medical education try
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicines. They do not know what the result will be and hope that it will be positive but not always is like that.
Although
Linking Words
 there are a lot of disadvantages,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 might make
people
Use synonyms
 not go to
usual
Add an article
the usual
a usual
show examples
 doctor. The first and the main pro is that using herbals does not cause environmental problems
such
Linking Words
 as air pollution or gas waste. Many pharmaceutical plants use chemicals which have harmful
affect
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 on the environment. The other reason is that
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicines are usually much cheaper than usual
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
treatment
Use synonyms
 as you do not have to go to
pharmacy
Add an article
the pharmacy
a pharmacy
show examples
 and buy expensive drugs. To sum it up, the
alternative
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treatment
Use synonyms
 will be forever because it has some advantages which many
people
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 think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can outweigh the disadvantages but I do not think so.
The conventional
Correct article usage
Conventional
show examples
medicine
Use synonyms
 which develops
rocketly
Correct your spelling
rockets
rocket
rocketry
 will drive out other types of
treatment
Use synonyms
 in the future.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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