Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over how to become a high-achiever.
While
some claim that to get
success
absorbing
knowledge
in
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
is the sole method, the opposite makes a statement that various elements make a great contribution to
success
.
While
each has its own perks, I would
content
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is crucial for
people
to get access to institutions in order to achieve high accomplishments. Having a learning journey
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
have a decent foundation
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
which can help
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
jobs in the future. Marketing
knowledge
, economics
knowledge
and logistics
knowledge
which are imparted by professional teachers can be cited as compelling instances,
this
brings
people
a good condition when they apply
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
an international company.
Hence
, studying in the university
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
an immense impact on
people
's
success
.
While
the necessity of going to university
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
widely acknowledged, the fruitfulness of
people
has a heavy reliance on other factors, especially
skills
. If a person has
skills
, they will sensitively create
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
for
enterprise
Correct article usage
the enterprise
show examples
and don't need to spend formidable time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
training,
this
can hike productivity in working tasks.
For instance
, communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, time management
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and presentation
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
As a result
, sets of
skills
contribute to
people
's fruitfulness. In conclusion,
while
the redeeming features of
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
an academy
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a paramount indispensable role in
people
’s
success
,other elements which have a massive influence in
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a high - achiever
such
as soft
skills
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the question in your introduction and conclusively in your conclusion. Your position should be clear throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. Include more detailed examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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