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Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Some believe that technology, such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #technology #phones #cell #interaction
Excessive consumption of social networking
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
 real social life.
However
, it makes people in contact in any part of the world but
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with
this
 notion since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
distrupt
Correct your spelling
disrupt
 sociality live.
This
 progress in social networking
such
 as cell phone
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 us to stay in contact which other no matter where we are
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, my cousin
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 around the world 2 weeks ago
Correct your spelling
continuously
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 in contact with his family and friend they knew every detail about his
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
 just in one click. There is another side
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
coin
Add an article
the coin
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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since it
dsrupt
Correct your spelling
disrupt
disrupts
 real social
live
Replace the word
life
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for example
 , many people spend all
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time with
virtual
Add an article
a virtual
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 rather than
real
Add an article
a real
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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.
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
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Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
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, technology is important and
benefit
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beneficial
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 to simplify
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, it has
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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 so we should reduce the disadvantage and use
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
 life easy
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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